Faith! it's such a short word but its complexity is beyond my comprehension.
My life is a test of Faith. Once again, I was tested. We participated in a 3 day event for the 3rd year in a row at the Raleigh International Festival under Taste of Asia. It was a lot of preparation. The excitement was at a all time high peak when Friday evening rolled around , but it soon was disturbed by slow sales.
Mentally, I said to myself tomorrow will be a full house and our sales will pick up. Saturday came and it was not as expected. By mid day, I broke down into tears.
I searched deep in my soul to find a reason why is NAC doing His work. Why isn't He granting us a successful fundraising event?
Even though I prayed deep and hard, for a temporary moment I lost faith in Him.
On Sunday morning after church service, the agonizing thoughts came and it hit me in full force. Reluctantly, I showed up and tried hard to get through the day. it was extremely hard and painful to endure. I asked myself, How can i embrace failure? I know doing God's work is not easy.
Then the ultimate question appeared in my mind: Do I have what it takes? As an ungrateful child, I whine and complain. But He is a faithful God and He is testing me. He threw me in the storm of challenges and also pulled me out more stronger, more determine. Through it all I must learn to have faith and keep a good attitude. As a result, I will build up more courage and will be prepared to face more storm of challenges ahead. Most importantly I pray never let my compassion leave me and as a result , I never let myself leave Him.
Even though I lost my courage, motivation and strength during this unsuccessful event, I with the grace of God witnessed the togetherness of a family, I also witnessed the value of friendship and both gave me strength! ... My family members stood behind me and supported me... the togetherness of a family! For example: on Friday when our sales were slow, my daughter withdrew money from her bank account using an ATM machine and secretly put it in the cash register. My nephew worked 3 straight days handling all of the heavy tasks. Even my niece drove home from UNC Apps. to help out as well as my sister who took Sunday off and helped out.
Furthermore, the value of friendship was evident. My friends's son and daughter both came home from 2 difference directions- UNC Wilmington and Charlotte to help out. People who signed up for volunteer positions all showed up and helped out. Even my friends called and expressed their supports and some made momentary donations to balance out the financial differences.
Truthfully, I couldn't have survived without their love and support! I am deeply touched and appreciative as well For these reasons, I am graceful for the life I have been given by the one Above.
With all of these reasons, the next day, I found myself listening to the song the children at Tan Dao sang during the farewell ceremony. It serves as a reminder that I need to stay strong and try harder as well and to remember that I don't live for me but for them!